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What Your Coffee Says About You, Explained

Move over, Myers-Briggs.
March 22, 2024
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Photo by Julia Gartland

We’ve teamed up with to give you a taste of how delicious real coffee creamer can be. Using real dairy and simple ingredients (read: no lactose, artificial hormones, or oil additives), Belle Coffee Creamer elevates the ordinary cup of coffee.

Like the Myers-Briggs test, how you take your coffee says a lot about your personality. Maybe not as definitely, but close enough. In fact, according to our very in-depth, very unscientific research, understanding these traits can be the key to unlocking your hidden power and potential—or simply a reminder of your excellent taste. Curious where you fit into the classic coffee archetypes? Read on to find out what your go-to coffee says about you.

If you like your coffee with :
You make the best out of every situation—including your coffee routine. Though you haven’t personally experienced hardship, your EQ is off the charts. Most people spend years in therapy trying to let go of perceived slights and childhood conflicts, but you have been able to rise above it all, brightening everyone’s moods with your sweet but pure disposition. You have just one fatal flaw: You soften ice cream in the microwave for far too long.

If you like your coffee iced all year long:
Either you live in Florida or you live in the north and still, perversely, enjoy iced coffee even when there is snow on the ground. You are highly impractical, which can be traced back to the love-hate relationship you had with your father. Still grieving for this missed connection, there are many basic things you cannot do for yourself, including making iced coffee at home. Even when your bank account is running dangerously low, you would rather pay for one at your favorite coffee shop. To your credit, you are an excellent tipper.

If you like your coffee with soy milk:
You used to be so much fun. It’s like you took a wrong turn in the health food store and became a seitan follower. Just remember: There are always more interesting things to talk about than the benefits of isoflavones.

If you like your coffee with oat milk:
We get it, you love oat milk and you think it’s soooo much better than almond, soy, and dairy milk. But you are a little too fixated on your station in life in relation to others, a classic mindset of the middle child. Once you stop comparing your lot to everyone else’s, you will find happiness. Also: Have you actually read the ingredients on that carton?

If you like your coffee black:
Admit it: A little part of you dies inside when the person in front of you orders a mocha. Behind your judginess, though, it’s clear you are just overcompensating from debilitating self-doubt and indecision. While limiting your choices in life can provide a sense of calm and stability, we are here for a good time, not a long time. Have a little fun, won’t you?

What’s your coffee personality? Tell us below!

The one thing that matters most in making an outstanding coffee creamer: outstanding cream and milk. The cream in Belle Coffee Creamer comes from a cooperative of Northwest family farmers that have been cultivating the very best dairy for generations. By adding real, simple ingredients and nothing else, Belle Coffee Creamer is the very best creamer for your coffee. Discover all their flavors .

See what other Food52 readers are saying.
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Written by: Nicole Davis

Contributing Editor, Food52


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